The Joys of Dutch Service

If for a second I forget that the French were in the Netherlands for a while, I’m quickly reminded by the ever-present French heritage such as that of client service. In Amsterdam, as in Paris, water isn’t served as soon as you sit down at a restaurant like it is in the USA, you have to ask for it. In Amsterdam the server usually brings you a glass slightly bigger than a thimble, which is a huge improvement over the French, who simply bring you nothing. But forget the Frencholes, let’s talk about the friendly and nice (and very good looking) Dutch.

Recently I bought a defective light for my bike from my neighborhood bike shop and when I went back to exchange it the friendly and helpful clerk examined it and concluded that the batteries were dead.

“I only bought it last week though,” I said.

He explained, “It got wet inside and the batteries aren’t working.”

I said, “Well, it’s a bit of a problem if a light on a bike can’t get wet in Amsterdam, isn’t it?”

He laughed, “Yes, well, that’s Amsterdam! You’ll have to buy a new light.”

Great.

Then there was the time when I was having coffee at a restaurant and I asked the waitress for a napkin. “Why?” she politely asked me. Well, that was a first. Since the obvious scenario didn’t seem plausible (the being in a restaurant ordering something part), I told her I had a runny nose and that I was out of tissues. She examined me for a few seconds before going to grab me a single napkin.

Tip: When ordering food, even if it’s finger food or sticky pie, ask for napkins because you’ll most likely not get any otherwise.

But I was out-shocked at my favorite bar, Het Paardje in the cool neighborhood of de Pijp. I was having beers and chatting with a typically gorgeous Dutchman when the beautiful waiter (yes, the men here can be “beautiful”) approached us and started speaking Dutch. No voices were raised but something was obviously not right and after some back and forth in Dutch the exasperated waiter hesitantly left. Turned out he had asked for our bar stools because two people wanted to have dinner and there were no more stools. I cannot imagine something like that happening in the US.

On the other hand, very often bartenders will let me taste beers before deciding which to order and when you order coffee or tea most places serve a little cookie or other treat on the side. So sweet! And once I even got a free round of drinks for my group. In many establishments the servers use an electronic pad to take orders and our waitress couldn’t find my tab in her pad so she said that she couldn’t charge me for something that didn’t exist in her system. Dutch logic can be very interesting.

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